#most people in this community honestly kinda piss me off its so clearly casual for them but do u see me constantly whining

[hpdfag]

ppl just go on and fucking on abt how so many yans are just fakers while also being the least self aware ppl alive huh

[talesfromthesnogbox]

A Little Bit of Love

Summary: Richie surprises Eddie by going on Celebrity Drag Race.

Word Count: 3,075

Notes: Hi this is so stupid but it was bugging me so I had to write it okay bye.

AO3 Link

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Hey Eddie, come down I want to show you something.”

Eddie raced down the stairs to find Richie on the couch, VH1 paused and ready for his surprise appearance.

“Celebrity Drag Race? I’ve spent the last week binging it while you’ve been ‘writing’, why do you want to watch it now?”

He hit Eddie lightly on the chest. “Shut up. I want to watch it with you!”

Richie had yet to tell any of his friends that he was going on Drag Race, and even more surprisingly, he was officially coming out to the world. Most of the Losers already knew he was gay, and he knew that Eddie kind of knew, but he hadn’t formally said anything to him about it.

The two of them sat in silence as the queens talked amongst themselves, wondering who would walk into the workroom first. Finally, Richie was revealed, and the queens went quiet.

Richie’s palms were sweaty, almost as sweaty as when he first stepped out behind that curtain in the loudest rainbow tie-dye button up shirt he could find.

“The Trashmouth has arrived.” He said onscreen, looking around at the pink… everything.

“Richie, what the fuck?” Eddie took the remote from him and paused the television. “When the fuck did you do Drag Race?”

“Surprise?” He chuckled seeing Eddie’s expression turn from angry to downright amused. “Alright, I signed an NDA, I wasn’t allowed to say anything!”

“Hi, I’m Richie, I’m 41 years old, and I’m a stand up comedian.” The scene on TV flashed back and forth from the usual flashy confessional screen and Richie exploring the workroom. He was the first one in, and he ogled the sequin gowns lining the walls, and the makeup on the counters. “I’ll be honest, I hadn’t watched the show until very recently. Last year I went back to my hometown in Derry, Maine for a little reunion with some childhood friends of mine, and went through a pretty traumatic experience. There’s this old abandoned house that all the kids used to tell ghost stories about and be scared of, and we, being the dumbass adults we are, decided to take a look around inside. It uh… it collapsed while we were inside, and my best friend Eddie actually ended up getting really badly hurt.”

 The screen flashes from Richie, tearing up in his confessional, to photos of them as kids, and one they’d taken as a group when they arrived.

“That really fucked me up, I thought… I thought I was gonna lose him, and I never… yeah, it just taught me to really hold your loved ones close. He’s alright, he’s actually living with me now, and he’s the one that got me to watch the show.” Richie’s somber expression changes to one of joy as he talks about Eddie. “I’ve been doing a lot of work writing for my upcoming tour, but Eddie watches Drag Race every chance he gets. When they asked me if I wanted to go on the show, it was an automatic yes, I didn’t even have to think about it. We’d been through so much last year, so I really wanted to surprise Eddie, and I thought it would be a great way to introduce myself formally as a part of the LGBTQ community.” Richie on screen held up a little rainbow flag and waved it around. “Honestly I think the producers were hoping I’d say no. I’ve been kind of a piece of shit… no, I’ve been a huge piece of shit, my work was pretty disgusting, and I want to change that. The first step is coming out, so yes, I was overcompensating with my comedy to hide how far in the closet I was. Hi, I’m gay!”

“Surprise?”

Eddie paused the TV again and turned to look at Richie, tears in his eyes. “Dude, I’m really proud of you.” He brought his friend in close for a hug, feeling hot splashes of tears fall on his neck.

“I’m sorry I never told you.”

“It’s okay, you weren’t ready Trashmouth.”

They dried their tears as they watched Richie interact with the other two celebrity guests as they arrived in the workroom, casually chatting about work and their mutual respect for the show, when finally RuPaul Charles arrived.

“So, was he amazing in person?”

Richie laughed. “Oh my god he’s the most fabulous human being alive, seriously I have so much respect for him.”

Eddie was giddy as he asked Richie questions about Ru, the workroom, the Pit Crew.

“Honestly, the Pit Crew is amazing, if I had a body like that I too would be flaunting it in those tiny briefs.” He laughed. “But it’s so hot in there with all those lights, they’re the luckiest people on this show.”

Finally, the real queens were added into the mix. Eddie watched with rapt attention as Richie and the other two contestants fumbled their way into “quick drag”, giggling at Richie struggling with a tube of lipstick and a horrendous blonde wig. Luckily for Richie, their mini challenge was an improv challenge, and he absolutely nailed it, making Ru and the rest of the queens shed tears of laughter.

“I still can’t believe you’re on the show, and now you’re winning the mini challenge? What the fuck?”

“Yeah! I got to pair up everyone with their queens. I know you really like Nina West so…”

Eddie’s jaw dropped as Richie took his place beside his favourite queen on the show, the lovely Nina West. “Shut up!”

“She’s a real sweetheart.”

Richie had seen parts of the episode already in its early stages and knew when certain… uncomfortable… moments were coming up. He did quite a bit of crying in his confessionals, and even had Nina tearing up a bit too.

Their maxi challenge was a lipsync performance, and Eddie already knew Richie was going to kill it. All the celebrities on the show were (now) out, gay men, and the number was a love-letter to Pride, something Richie had never actually participated in.

The other celebrities were all taken aback as the queens were to hear Richie come out to them in the workroom, but quickly accepted him in with a hug. “Richie you’ll love it, it’s like one big party celebrating who you are, and celebrating acceptance.” At that, Richie on screen started to tear up, knowing he hadn’t experienced that kind of acceptance from strangers before. “Sorry, you’re all so nice, I just… I dunno, expected to be booed off the set or something. I’ve been such an asshole in my sets just to hide it.”

Richie was crying in his confessional as well. “All my life I grew up in this shitty little town where everyone was homophobic, and misogynistic. I had bullies throwing slurs at me left, right and center, and I wasn’t even out, hell I didn’t even think I did anything that would even give anyone the hint that I was gay. I used to joke about fucking my friends’ moms, one in particular, mostly to hide the way I really felt…”

Back in the workroom, the queens and other contestants were still gathered around him. “I know how shitty it felt to be called names, and to feel like your life doesn’t matter, to feel like you’re an abomination because assholes like me told you so. My parents were really loving, and still are, my mom cried and told me she loved me when I came out to her last month, but not everyone gets that kind of love. And I feel like some of my stand up routines just made people feel worse. Man I regret so much of what I’ve said on stage, it’s not me, it was all a front because of how scared I was to admit that I’m gay.”

Nina pulled Richie into a hug as he wiped his eyes. “You’ll always be loved and accepted Richie, it’s never too late to admit you fucked up and make amends.” The rest of the cast joined Nina in their hug, only making Richie cry harder. “I’m so proud to have you as my drag daughter.”

Eddie paused as the show went to commercial and turned to his friend, who was once again, misty eyed.

“Rich…”

“You have no idea how hard it was filming that.” His voice was quiet. “I was such a piece of shit, and they literally just pulled me into a hug and told me they loved me for who I was.”

Eddie laid his head on Richie’s shoulder. “We love you too, you know that right? All the losers. It doesn’t matter to us if you’re gay or if you’re straight, or whatever… we’re here Rich.”

“I know, thank you.”

“Nobody’s going to hate you for being gay.”

Richie scoffed. “Twitter may have something else to say about that. I’m pretty sure I pissed off enough people to be banished from the community.”

“Well they can fuck off. I’ll fight every one of them if I have to.” Eddie snickered and hit play again, skipping forwards through the commercials. His favourite part of the show was always when the makeover finally happened. Richie appeared on screen clean-shaven wearing contacts, a rare sight for Eddie, and ready to be made beautiful.

“Please don’t laugh, Eds.”

“Why would I—”

On screen Richie removed his shirt and replaced it with a heavily padded bra. “So I don’t know how keen you are on this, but I quite like my chest hair.”

Nina shrugged. “That’s okay, for the runway we can put you in something with a high collar so you’re covered up.”

Richie chuckled. “No… I… there’s a Canadian queen I like that is kind of advocating for the destigmatization of female body hair, and she keeps her chest… out in the open, hair and all. If you’re okay with it… I’d kinda like to do that too.”

Nina smiled back at Richie and discarded of the high-necked bodysuit she was holding. “Alright, tits out it is.”

Eddie sat silently beside Richie, his mouth going dry at the sight of Richie’s chest out in the open while Nina worked on his face. He’d been joining Eddie’s physical therapy exercises for support, and kept up with him whenever he was at the gym, so his stomach and chest were a lot more toned than they were in the summer they’d reunited. Eddie had never really noticed, even when Richie walked around shirtless, but now… now he was noticing.

He noticed the way the veins in Richie’s forearms stood out, how the muscles moved beneath his skin as he reached out to grab the makeup Nina pointed to, how they went rigid when he flexed, lifting a case that was clearly heavy.

Richie got up from beside Eddie awkwardly. “I’ll be… I’ll be right back.”

Eddie frowned at the awkward tension coming from Richie before he realized on screen it was time to ‘tuck’. He let out a giggle as he watched Nina lead Richie back behind a screen and try to walk him through the practice.

“Yeah just take it and…”

Richie winced on screen. “I don’t know man, it’s not… is that right?”

“Here, let me…” Nina stepped in, and Eddie was instantly cackling, watching Richie’s face change expressions from annoyance to shock to discomfort.

Confessional Richie winced, a pained smile painting his face as he nodded. “I publicly came out and less than 20 minutes later had a man touch my dick for the first time, and I’ve gotta tell you… was not a great feeling. Let’s hope it’s better the next time when I actually get to… you know… is it weird that I’m talking about people touching my dick on camera?” He asked a producer off-camera.

“We’ve heard worse.” The producer rebutted, making Richie snort a laugh on screen.

Eddie watched Richie walk back into the room and slide beside him on the couch again. “Yeah, I… I wasn’t a fan of that whole…” he waved his hands over his crotch area, “tucking thing.”

“It sounds horrible.” Eddie agreed.

Finally, it was time for them to be introduced on the runway. Richie was the last to walk, and by far, had the biggest transformation. “Our final queen is Rachelle Von Dixx.” Eddie paused before he could step out onto the stage and looked at his friend.

“Of ALL the drag names you could have chosen, you went with Rachelle Von Dixx?”

“What can I say, it spoke to me.”

Eddie rolled his eyes and slumped back in his seat, hitting play once more. He hated to admit it, but Richie was Rachelle. Just as charismatic on the runway as Nina was, making faces at the judges, doing little spins with his arms wide to make his skirt flow around him. He looked totally comfortable up there and…

“You’re surprisingly good at walking in heels.”

Richie shrugged. “I used to wear my sister’s heels around the house for shits and giggles. They aren’t that hard to walk in.”

The challenge was over, it was time for the judges’ critiques, and Eddie was not prepared for them to critique Richie. But… they didn’t actually have anything bad to say about him.

“So I guess a congratulations and welcome to the family is in order for miss Rachelle. It’s hard to come out, and you’re doing it on TV.” Ru said after Richie’s critiques.

“Yeah, yeah thank you! It’s been an incredibly eye-opening experience, and I’m really, really grateful for it. The love and support everyone… oh god I said I wasn’t gonna cry on the main stage.” He laughed, fanning his eyes as the other queens gathered around him. “Whew, I’m okay. It’s just incredible, and I… thank you.”

“That’s beautiful Rachelle.” Ru blew him a kiss.

“So is there a special man in your life then?” Richie froze on stage as the question was hurled from the judges’ panel, but a timid smile crossed his face as warmth spread through his body. “Oh, I think that means there is!”

“No, it’s not… it’s not like that!” Richie insisted on screen, his smile giving him away. “I… I’ve known him forever and I love him, I think he was my first love, but, he doesn’t know any of this, I haven’t even come out to him yet.”

Confessional Richie looked past the camera at the producers. “Those judges man, they can like see into your soul. I’ve only ever really told like three people that I love Eddie, and two of them are my parents. Stan has been sworn to secrecy about it since we were like twelve.” Richie laughed. “Feels good though, finally saying it.” He nodded, deep in thought. “You’re gonna edit this out, right?”

Richie got up from his spot beside Eddie, who was too stunned to say anything. His hands were shaking as he walked into the kitchen, swearing.

“Rich, hey Rich, come back here.” Eddie followed him, catching him by the back of his shirt.

“Fuck man… fuck.” Richie raked his fingers through his hair, eyes darting wildly around the room. “Sorry, I’m sorry, I just… I didn’t think they’d put that in there. I don’t know why I even said it, I… I’m sorry I embarrassed you, I never meant for this—”

“Hey, hey Rich, look at me!”

Richie turned, his eyes misting over with tears for the umpteenth time that night. He could hear his phone going off in the other room, buzzing with the excitement of the confession from his friends and family, the internet inevitably exploding with shock.

“I never meant for you to find out.”

Eddie’s brow furrowed. “Why?”

“Because Eds… we’ve been friends since we were like six. I don’t want to give up on all those years of friendship just because my heart can’t keep it in its pants.”

Eddie scoffed. “You think you’re the only one who feels this way? Dude, I divorced my wife then moved across the country to live with you.”

Richie shrugged. “Yeah, so? I offered my spare room to you, you had nowhere else to go.”

“Stan, Ben, and Bill all offered me their spare rooms too. Before you did. I turned them all down Rich.”

Richie was silent.

“I never said anything because I wasn’t sure… wasn’t sure where you stood, if you were seeing someone, or if you even liked men, but Rich… this is me saying something.”

Cheers could be heard from TV in the background of Richie winning the competition, and announcing the LGBTQ+ charity he’d be donating to. They tuned it all out as they each came to the realization of what the other meant to them.

Richie’s eyes widened as it finally hit him. “Oh… oh. So… so you… me?” Eddie let out a boisterous laugh. “Yes you, you idiot. I’ve wanted to say it for so long but… I’m saying it now.”

The sound that left Richie’s mouth was one of shock and disbelief. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah dude, holy shit.” Eddie took a step closer to Richie, coming into his personal bubble and staring up at him with doe eyes. “Richie?”

“Y-yeah?”

“I think this is the part where you kiss me.”

 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 Later that night once the dust had settled, Richie and Eddie decided to stop playing by any rules or standards anyone had made for dating and go at their own pace. Richie hummed contentedly as Eddie snuggled further into his chest in his bed… their bed. He angled Eddie’s face up towards his, and pulled him into a tender kiss. The other man didn’t realize that Richie had pulled out his phone and snapped a photo of the two.

“What are you doing?”

Richie smiled and kissed the tip of Eddie’s nose. “Making it official.”

Dick Tozier @trashmouth

Guess I have to send a big THANK YOU to @NinaWest for being the best drag mother, and an even bigger THANK YOU to @RuPaul and the editing team of @RuPaulsDragRace for not listening to me when I asked if that line about being in love with my best friend could be cut out. I have you to thank for this.

Richie attached the photo he’d just taken and hit “Send Tweet” before turning off his phone. “Sorry about the chaos that’s about to ensue.”

Eddie giggled. “I don’t care, I’m just happy I finally have you.”